This week I've had a 'Kathleen Kelly' moment. Two, actually. Really annoying. And it never seems to change. It still happens, eventhough I've crossed paths into young adulthood... But maybe I should clarify what a 'Kathleen Kelly' moment is...
Kathleen Kelly is the female lead character in the movie You've Got Mail (1998). Meg Ryan is the amazing actress who's playing her. In the movie Kathleen says the below quote:
"That happens to me when I'm provoked is that I get tongue-tied and my mind goes blank. Then I spend all night tossing and turning trying to figure out what I should have said."
I assume that I'm not the only one who's familiar with the above? Well, this week I had two really annoying incidents where I couldn't think cleary on what to respond. Hello Kathleen Kelly.
The first really annoying 'Kathleen Kelly' moment happend on Thursday evening. I was walking from the train station to my house, minding my own business, listening to music, blisfully unaware of anyone who crossed my path. Until I heard it. A whistle. And a 'heeey, sexyyyy'. Obviously I didn't stop and just kept walking as the catcallers came from the opposite direction, so I could leave them behind me asap. But I couldn't help but sigh, look really annoyed and roll my eyes. Apparently my resting bitch face doesn't scare off everyone... How unfortunate.
Now, since I moved to London about 18 months ago I can literally count on one hand how many times I've been catcalled. That is one thing I absolutely LOVE about London. You can actually travel from point A and B without being sexual harassed 5 times along the way. Unlike in Brussels, where I couldn't even put as much as my big toe outside the door or I was catcalled by at least 4 men, between the age of 10 and 65. It might come as a shock to some men, but there are women who'd like to walk around without being whistled at like a dog.
I've never reacted when a guy or guys catcall at me. I always make sure I'm getting the hell out of there, but afterwards I always think about what I could have said. "What do you hope to achief by doing this?", "When did this tactic actually work?", "Have some respect!", "I'm not a dog, idiot", "What's the freaking point!?",... Which leads to a very frustrated Sara, as I can't understand why some men do this. Not that I would actually say anything like that. It's like a bad behaving child: do not acknowledge it or you will teach it that bad behaviour leads to attention.
The second 'Kathleen Kelly' moment happend on Friday evening whilst I was waiting in a queue at the cash register in Lidl. The women in front of me was really slowlt putting her groceries on the till band. Annoying that may be, I'd never cut in front of her. However, the man standing in line behind me had a different idea. He actually put the 6 pack of water on the till band for the lady. But not in a nice 'Oh, allow me to help you'-way, but in a 'hurry the fuck up, woman'-way. When there was enough space for me to place my groceries on the till band, that's when it started. The guy behind me said that I could have easily gone before the lady in front of my, as I only had a few items. I couldn't believe my ears! So I actually said "Excuse me?!" And than that man said: "No need to get annoyed if you don't know what I'm talking about". Pardon me sir, I know exactly what you're talking about and no, I do not cut off people in a queue. How slow they may be. So I said to the man to 'please have patience', but he kept going on about how I shouldn't be rude. Finally he stopped talking, but when my items were scanned, he started again: "My apologies if you feel offended, but you shouldn't be rude as you don't know what I'm talking about'. I tried to polity wave it away with my hand, but the man had no off button. To which I politely replied that "I'm not being rude. I don't cut of people in a queue, that was your suggestion." I felt so sorry for the lady behind the cash register! It was so awkward, but for that man to suggest to cut off someone else in a queue, that is rude. And when I walked out, I could hear him started explaining everything to the lady behind the cash register. Even to think about it now, really makes me annoyed. Friday evening I kept think about what I could have said. Aaargh!!
I guess I'm not the only one who has the 'Kathleen Kelly' syndrome. But I guess it isn't always a bad thing. As Joe Fox (played by Tom Hanks, and male lead character in You've got Mail) would say:
"But then, on the other hand, I must warn you that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows"
That's it for this weeks blog post. Please let me know your thoughts! Does anyone of you have the same problem? What do you do when you're in a situation like that? I'd love to hear about them!
As always, thanks for reading!
xo - Sara
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