17 October 2015

11 useful tips if you don't want to be shot dead by angry stares of angry Londoners

Hallooooooo!

Welcome to my week 41 update. Who would have thought that I'd ever reach a 'week 41 update' huh? My internship at RDP lasted 14 weeks, my internship at Media Circus lasted 18 weeks + 3 weeks of blisful wondering around London. 21 weeks was the max. Well, until now x)

Anyway, the weekend was pretty boring. I cleaned the freaking fridge, made my lunch for the week, watched the 'Regency House Party' again,... That's about it. The week was pretty unexciting as well.

The one thing did happen this week, on Thursday morning to be precise, was a bit embarrassing. As most mornings now, I take the bus from London Victoria to Oxford Circus to go to the office. Thursday morning was no difference. I walked to the right stop to wait for the bus and as usual I wait where the first door of the bus would stop. Other people were already waiting. Nothing out of the ordinary. Except for Thursday. The lady standing next to me said: 'Excuse me, we're queueing that way'. I was suprised, but made my way down the line without a fuzz. When I understood what happened, my first feeling was: "That bitch! You don't have to say that so bitchy." But then I realised: "Shit, I've been cutting people in line for quite a while now" and then I thought "My god, they even queue for the bus". It's a well know fact that Brits queue, a lot. You have signs for them everywhere. Whether they like it is another matter. However, to defend my case, there was no sign saying you have to queue at London Victoria bus station.

As you can see I went through a few emotions, but the most prominent one was embarrasment. I thought that after living in London for over a year and a half I'd have it down. Most things are very obvious, like "walk on the left, stand on the right", "mind the gap between the train and the platform", "keep left" and "queue here". These thing are often announced or have signs everywhere. Other things, however, like "don't make eye contact on the tube" or "be quiet on the 7.37am train into town" are not announced and don't have signs everywhere. So I'd like to give you 11, hopefully useful, tips to survive London.



1) Queue at London Victoria bus station
This is the only bus station where you have to queue that I know of. I can imagine though that other bus stops at train stations might have the same unwritten policy. When in doubt, queue anyway.

2) Don't make eye contact on public transport
Nothing is more awkward than locking eyes with a stranger in a small confined space. Whether this is on a train, tube or bus. God forbid you might actually start talking.

3) When someone complains about the weather, don't reply with 'what did you expect?'
People here love to complain about the weather. I've learned the hard way not to answer with 'What did you expect? You're on an island famous for their cloudy and rainy days'. Just nod in agreement and keep your opinions to yourself. If they can't complain about the weather, they will find another subject to moan about :)

4) Complain about how bloody expensive public transport is, then pay for it anyway.
Every month when I see those £144.80 leave my bank account I die a little bit inside. That's £1,737.6 a year that goes to public transport. I don't even earn that much in a month, but I pay it anyway, 'cause a girl gotta get to her house in zone 4 (but she actually takes the train to zone 3 to save a whopping £387.6 a year. Getting off one stop earlier saves me about £32.3 a month)

5) Be quiet on the train into town at 7.37am.
It's just not done to talk on the train into town in the morning. And I digg it. It gives me a chance to wake up quietly. By the time the train arrives at London Victoria I'm kind of ready to face the hectic life in the city. This unwritten policy of 'keep quiet' is also applicable on tube and bus.

6) Keep the volume of your music down.
As it is so quiet on the train (read point 5) you can hear your music through your headphones when you have the music volume on 100%. You don't need that much, hun, for it is very quiet anyway. You don't need to block out annoying sounds. Everybody else, however, is annoyed by your lack of good taste in music. You may not notice it, but we roll our eyes. Unless you are half deaf, I recommend tuning it a bit down, you don't want to get deaf. Oh that would be ironic.

7) Don't consume hot meals on public transport
Besides the loud music as mentioned in point 6, eating hot meals in a confined space is absolutely NOT DONE. You either make your fellow passengers nauseous or you make them ravenous. Neither is pleasant.

8) Don't wait until the gates are closed to tap your oystercard.
It is of the utmost important, especially during rush hour, that you keep the flow through the gates going. You don't need to wait until the gates are closed to top in or out with your oystercard. Just wait until the light turns orange, then tap your oystercard and walk through. Easy as that. If your oystercard says 'seek assistance', take a step back and try again tapping your oystercard. 9/10 your card will work. You don't want to be the idiot who keeps trying to open the gates, whilst nearly standing against the gates, and keeping up the flow at the gate. No one will thank you for that.

9) Do not saunter. Walking is considered a form of transportation.
As public transport is so ridiculously expensive (see point 4), you'd like to cut down on taking the bus or tube for 'short' distances. Therefor walking is considered another form of transportation. Nothing is more annoying than being held up or slowed down by surrounding traffic. It is advised not to saunter or stop in the middle of the sidewalk.

10) Queue when waiting to go through oystercard gates.
This one is pretty self explanatory. This is only applicable during rush hour or when a lot of people are trying to get through the gates at the same time. Queues will form automatically so you just have to get in line and wait till it's your turn to tap your oystercard. Please see point 8 for this.

11) Simply enjoy
But most importantly, simply enjoy your fabulous ass when you're visiting or living in this fabulous city.

I hope these tips are a bit useful :) That's what I've learned in my time living in this busy city.

Oh, I almost forget. Something exciting did happen this week (well for me anyway): I started drinking hot chocolat again. I told myself to wait until 1st November, but I kind of ignored my own advise. I haven't cut out coffee yet, like I did last winter, but I can imagine that will probably happen again once November comes around. Friday after work I did one of my favorite things: buy a hot chocolat at Costa, read in St James Church next door til I finish my drink and then go to Waterstones to marvel at all the books. Books stores and DVD's stores are quite my favorite ^^

 That's it for this week's update. Hope you enjoyed it ;)

Thanks for reading!
xo - Sara

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